A DIFFERENT STREET

If we choose to remain in our old patterns once we realize the detrimental results or self-sabotage required to do so, we have essentially given up on ourselves. No amount of another's effort, faith, comfort or support will alter this behavior. Excuses abound and will always be readily available. Familiarity, safety, brokenness and just plain 'failure' are all wonderful caves of self-comfort available to those who choose to stay locked into their pain.  

It is a valid choice . . . no one has the right to take that away from anyone else. Perhaps it is a karmic debt or retribution for past sins. Whatever our justification, we have the incredible ability to become self-righteous in our suffering.  

The first steps out of our self-created hell can be the most difficult ever attempted. Breaking through the membrane of self-hatred and doubt takes strength and courage we may not choose to access. Whatever our decision, there is only the truth left at the center of our experience of life. That is the mirror we face at the moment of transition. When confronted with the various points of choice that were pivotal in the direction of the life we created, the moment of truth confronts us all....   I fell, I rose, I fell again.... the next step is either accept defeat or choose a different road.   

Portia Nelson said it perfectly in her poem, There's a Hole in My Sidewalk, Autobiography in Five Short Chapters:

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the street.

I fall in, I am lost . . . I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it there.

I still fall in . . . it's a habit . . . but, my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It's my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.

there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down a different street.